What You Mean to Me
by rainingWolf
Summary: It had been Day 54 but today was also Day 1. The day of beginning as the team unearthed Shiro from the grasp of Haggar and Zarkon. For the first time since Voltron lost its head and the Black Lion opened and showed emptiness, Shiro slept peacefully and deeply, without dreams, comforted by caring whispers and soft hands. / for #kuroweek2k17. Free Day!/ Cover Image Source inside.


For #kuroweek2k17 Free Day!

Cover Image by **libsterdraws** on Tumblr.

\- warning for self harm.

* * *

It was Day 54 but today was also Day 1. The day of beginning as the team unearthed Shiro from the grasp of Haggar and Zarkon.

For the first time since Voltron lost its head and the Black Lion opened and showed emptiness, Shiro slept peacefully and deeply, without dreams, comforted by caring whispers and soft hands.

He woke up feeling undeserving of the gentle smiles that were given to him at every turn. He felt himself suffocating under lukewarm water as he turned at every corner and was met with something akin to pity.

Shiro hated it, hated this feeling of disgust and grime clinging to his skin despite multiple showers taken in an attempt to drown himself.

It never worked and he knew something had to break when Keith burst open the door to his room, anger a permanent marker on his face as the younger boy took in the water and the blood, the scar reopened on the older's wrist, and paled uncontrollably.

"Can you hand me the knife," the Red Paladin asked, hand reaching out to the older man but not touching, not yet.

Shiro used the knife to trace the other faint lines on his left wrist in response as if the other hadn't spoken. There was a beat, two, and then he looked back at Keith before shaking his head. "I can't."

He didn't even hear the others enter his room and was only aware when the faint smell of some flower he couldn't name wafted over. He looked up at Allura's big big familiar purple eyes and gripped the blade tighter.

"You shouldn't be here," he said to the water but the team obviously got his message when there was a sharp intake of breath.

There was silence where nobody seemed to take in air and Shiro just watched absently at the blood dripping down his arm to mix with the water below.

Suddenly, a softer voice than the one Keith had used earlier spoke up. "Please. Shiro. Put down the knife." Pidge stepped forward and Shiro shrank back because Pidge was Matt's and he's failed them both. She paused before swallowing hard to say, "You're my big brother too. I can't let you do this."

Shiro's grip on the knife loosened slightly and Hunk took over, hand coming up to steady Pidge. "It's okay to be scared. You know I'm always scared. But you can't do this. There are people who care for you. We want to help you get better. I know it's scary now-" and the Yellow Paladin looked at his leader and said firmly, "- but one day, it won't be as scary."

Lance piped up at this point, "I know bad things happened but… maybe sometimes, good things can happen too," and intertwined his fingers with Keith's in a white knuckle grip as if restraining the Red Paladin from reaching over and ripping the blade from Shiro's hands. "And we'll be there for you. Always."

Shiro didn't answer, mind whirling because how can he trust these words when the team had left him for 54 days to rot.

But then someone moved a little closer to him and in one second and the next, he was looking into familiar purple eyes and smelling flowers that his heart ached to know. "Please," Allura breathed, her whisper breezing warmth into his skin and he suddenly didn't feel as cold as the water he was sitting in. "Don't do this. I love you."

Something fizzed in his brain and Shiro could only stare as she murmured, "You mean so much to me. Please. Can you put the knife down?"

Shiro hesitated, knife still hovering, his breath coming out in quick successions as he tried to decide.

He didn't know who he was anymore.

He looked up, saw Pidge's tired smile, Hunk's steady hands, Lance and Keith's bond, and Allura's oh so familiar eyes and smile… and the knife dropped out of his hands.

* * *

\- I can't believe I actually did a short fic every day this week! :)

\- I tried ending this on a slightly happy note. But still gotta keep that darkness in the story since it's still technically kuroweek.

\- Reviews are much appreciated.

\- Enjoy! 3


End file.
